Lesson in Love: How I Loved and was Betrayed. And How That Was Actually a Blessing.
[ A mindful disclaimer: I am neither in the possession of truth, nor do I have – as they say - monopoly on the truth. Everybody has to seek and find what’s true for them. I am just another soul on the path of Truth (with a capital T) – whatever that means. While I travel down the long and lonesome road of life’s ups and downs, I have chosen the art of writing as my tool to dig deeper, in hope of finding pieces of clues that will help me solve life’s mysteries. Like a transpersonal archeologist, I am digging deep, working on making sense of the classical and fantastically puzzling questions that revolve around the meaning of life and human existence. I am looking for clues to human existence that will shift our consciousness and help us see things through different, more loving, compassionate, forgiving and kinder lenses. So that we may not only transform our own being, but humankind collectively.]
Finally, I find some time to write to you. I am back from the land where the sun rises and it was wonderful to gain some space and perspective. It’s also wonderful to know that you are doing much better now compared to the last time we spoke. How’s life? Are you happy?
I do hope so.
Today I want to write about love and betrayal. The love I offered and the betrayal I received in return, as well as the blessings that resulted out of the betrayal.
Love is a fundamental building block of planet Earth. It is our very soul’s essence. It is what we are made out of. To love we return.
She who is unable to love, is unable to open her soul.
He who is unable to love will never be able to fully exchange his soul’s essence with others. Love is the premise on which every personal growth and development process is build on. If you are unable to engage in love and exchange love, you are unable to grow.
Love heals. Love is medicine. It aids any ailment more than any other remedy on this planet.
However, retained love -- the kind that isn’t fully expressed and lived -- will make you sick. It will ruin you.
Love needs to be utilized. It should never be retained. Or else it will turn into hatred and betrayal.
Love, however, also fuels Narcissism. Narcissus, a character in Greek mythology, was known for his beauty. He was so in love with himself, that all he could do was to look at his own reflection in the water. He was unable to engage in loving relationships with others.
He retained all of his love for himself and miserably perished. Due to his inability to love outside of himself, he suffered. Love that isn’t fully expressed will make you sick. It will ruin you.
At the end of this lifetime, when we are close to death and our souls are ready to go home, what counts is not our achievements and accomplishments. It is not the work we did and the jobs we earned our money with, that make us great souls.
We will all have to ask ourselves the question: How did we love? How much and deeply did we love?
We will not be asked if we were Jewish, Catholic or Buddhist or whatever else we were.
We will, however, be asked how much we loved. This is the first and greatest lesson all of our souls long to learn here on planet Earth.
Learn how to love, dear soul. Deeply. Madly. Passionately.
That is the essence of all religion and spirituality. He who is able to love, is like G-D.
I once loved a boy. I loved him deeply, madly, passionately. Yet he betrayed me. Perhaps because he was still a boy, not yet a man. He kicked my soul and love to the curb. Turned his back on me. Yet he did not do that because he is what you would call “a bad soul”. No. Not at all. He is as good or as bad as we all are. He, too, is just learning.
However, like Narcissus, he retains all of his love for himself. He stares into the reflection of the pond, stunned by his own beauty. He is unable to love outside of himself. And when love fuels narcissism, it can easily turn into betrayal. Even if the soul did not intend it.
Our society promotes narcissism. That is why we are so sick as a human species. And why we are ruining our existence and our Mother Earth. We have forgotten how to love another. We have forgotten how to express that love and engage in loving, compassionate, kind and respectful interpersonal relationships. We have forgotten how to take responsibility for the love we offer and receive.
“It is unfortunate when a soul close to you betrays not only you, but his best abilities and character”,
is what a teacher soul remarked to me.
I agree. Truly unfortunate. It deserves love in the form of compassion.
Betrayal always happens out of narcissism and selfishness, sparked by entitlement. It is the inability to apply basic values, like the 3 R's:
- Respect for self.
- Respect for others.
- Responsibility for your actions.
Respect another soul’s integrity and emotional landscape. And take responsibility for your actions. A basic concept that will make a difference. Trust me.
And so, the boy I once loved discarded my love. Like an old coke bottle; I was thrown away. I was empty for him.
He did not need my love anymore, because he was settled in a city somewhere on this planet where he can strive for achievement and accomplishment. Yet he would have never settled here without someone's love. He was settled in a job. Yet he would have never found that job without someone's love. He was settled in a circle of friends. Yet he would have never found that circle of friends without that job.
And now, someone else fuels his narcissism with love. Until she is empty too. Then he will discard her, too. Just like he has past someone's love. Just like he will future someone's love.
He is perishing. That deserves compassion.
When his soul is ready to go home and he will be asked how much he loved, he will not have much to show. He will have a collection of old coke bottles on a shelf with chipped color and two batches of achievements and accomplishments hanging on the wall.
"That is all?", they will ask. And he will nod.
It won’t matter. Because only love does.
He just disappeared. After two and a half years of sharing our lives and souls. All of a sudden. He never called. He never loved. He never cared. He took the easy way out.
It is quite lonely in a relationship, in which the other one has checked out and left long ago. So, I gathered my belongings, my love, the little self-respect that was left, my cat and left. Too.
It was overdue. I suppose.
Should I have seen it coming?
Do I regret having loved as deeply?
Not at all.
It is, in fact, the biggest blessing, which resulted out of this betrayal. Without it I would have never been consciously aware of my own ability to love as deeply, madly and passionately. I’m grateful for this gift.
Because love is as close to MAGIC as we get. And I have always been fascinated by unicorns and magic. *smile*
Dear soul, to love as deeply is grand, because it makes us all as beautifully human as we are. Even when the other betrays you. Even if when the love you offer is disappointed. The old saying is right:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
I want to encourage you, never to be afraid to love. Ever.
I want to encourage myself, to love again. Deeply, madly, passionately. Someday. When the time is right.
Three weeks ago, I was walking around in the city that I live in, on my way to somewhere, when I saw a food cart that was selling coffee standing next to a park. It had the name “Love Coffee” spelled in big orange letters across its side. I had passed it half way already, when something made me turn around. I felt compelled to buy myself some love.
As I was ordering I could feel hot and heavy tears making their way up from my heart to my eyes.
That feeling when you know now it’s happening, you are about to be utterly vulnerable and cry in front of total strangers, inappropriately offering them your entire emotional landscape and there’s little to nothing you can do about it, but just to let it happen and be vulnerable.
And when the guy asked me how I was doing all I could manage to say was a chocked “Okay” before the waterworks opened up and released a flood of tears.
“Uh oh, that doesn’t sound good. Who is the asshole?”
and chuckled at me.
And then he handed me a tissue as I explained that I was replaced, just discarded.
He looked at me and in utter disbelief said:
”Is he stupid? He is going to regret that! Look at you, you are beautiful inside and out. Any good man would be happy to have a good woman like you. And I tell you what: Be glad that this happened. You will get an upgrade from the universe.”
And he smiled slyly and paused for a moment before he added:
“But... don’t look for him. He will enter your life in G-D’s perfect time.”
My Earth angel handed me my “Love Mocha” and told me his name, inviting me to always drop by and hang out. This beautiful soul surely had learned his love lesson. I suppose love also means to be kind and compassionate, even to crying strangers buying “Love Mochas” from you.
That’s all I have for today, my soul friend. Work on loving each other, okay?
And do stay in touch. Perhaps start following me on my quest to shifting consciousness within myself and others?
I’m sending you Love, Light and Blessings from heart to heart and soul to soul,
If you liked this article and think another soul can benefit from its content, please share it via one of the social media buttons below. Also, follow AnuSoul on Facebook, Twitter, Medium and onwww.anusoul.com for daily inspirations and weekly blog articles, published every Monday morning. Namaste!